It’s strange to think how people see you. I feel as if I’m viewed as this bubbly person, but I constantly force down my sadness like vomit, my mind constantly goes to the worst of every situation and I never feel good enough. I’m not saying I’m an unhappy person, I’m happy, i truly am in the grand scheme of things I suppose. I care for the companionship of others but never do I want to put the effort into it and the thought of it makes me shake. I don’t think I’m destined for the loneliness I seek, I’m just dealing myself this hand for the fear of letting people down like I so often do. I constantly have to tell myself this is reality and to get a grip of my sanity.